My Heart (is in Peshawar)

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I’ve neglected you, I know.

It’s been one year turned to two

turned to a Decade.

I’ve not seen you.

but that Doesn’t mean-

I don’t miss:

your dusty streets

vendors chanting

Rickshaws humming

bazaars buzzing

birds chirping.

You’ve always been charming

but now it is not your charm

that you have lost- you are no longer

safe.

and I dont know

why.

You’re bleeding at the seams

and I feel it just

as if I never left.

If it wasn’t for you

my parents would never have met

at my uncle’s wedding,

they would never have left

I would not be here writing this.

would I have been a shop girl

tending to the birds at the bazaar

or unraveling fabrics in Saddar?

I’m not sure

but at least there would be no distance between

us

right now.

And I would be there

to clean you help

mend your wounds

help you figure this out.

All I have done right now is feel helpless

and distant

and sorrow

and horror

and sadness.

Seeing those little faces

all that comes to mind is-

why

how

when.

My tears have not yet

turned into a wishing stone

so I could wish it away

for the mother

who has lost all 5 of her children

and has not gone home for nearly a week.

she lives in your streets now,

she longs for your comfort

your old safety.

But you and I both know

those days are

long gone.

Peshawar

I will pray for you.

I won’t stop dreaming.

I won’t stop hoping.

I won’t stop believing.

Soon I will visit you,

but I will not and can not forget those faces,

and what was great potential

for your future that you lost

that unimaginable day.

2 replies to “My Heart (is in Peshawar)

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