the plank was rainbow colored
as if it had been chopped off
in rainbow Brite’s garden.
“Step Ahead, lass” he roared while i hesitated.
he wasn’t the usual Captain Hook i had imagined.
instead of a beard he wore a more modern
goute that the local Starbucks barista had fashioned.
he was actually quite handsome
and smelled less like fish than i had imagined,
and more like sandalwood.
“I don’t want to” i stated as if my simple words were a key that could unlock the door that was this pirate’s decision.
i wrestled with the poison ivy he had tied around my hands
but little did he know i have been exposed to it in the past
and would have already had a bad reaction by now. silly pirate, ill let him believe its real instead of the plastic leaves they truly were.
he pulled me around so my face met his, almost gracefully as if we were in a romance novel, or i cant believe its not butter commercial, rather than standing on a wooden plank hanging 30 feet over the violent turqouse colored sea.
“what is wrong with thee, lass?” he looked at me rather puzzled, as if feeling genuinely concerned that i may be certifiably mad.
man he smelled amazing i thought, as he leaned in closer. if they allowed pirates to be in old spice commercials he should defintely be in one, even though i hate the smell of that stuff. maybe issey miyake should hire him. not sure if there is a Nordstrom in wonderland, or wherever the heck this is anyways.
I may as well play into his observation or more likely fear of those who are mad. “Many things” I replied, and tried to smile as creepily as I could.
Instantly he covered my mouth with his hand and made an announcement to his eclectic staff of hairy men, furry beings, and women who were probably gypsies. ” The poor lass has already gone mad, the poison ivy has served its purpose it seems.” His crowd of workers cheered and actually believed the fake poison ivy did something to alter my brain. “There will be no plank walk today sadly, but alas I’ll be looking after this one closely to make sure she doesn’t befriend any of those other mad creatures we have so many of.” He escorted me off the plank and led me down the stairs into a room with a view that rivaled that of a cruise ship almost.
He untied the leaves from my hands and then walked over to a dresser that sat in the corner. He removed a red vial from it and handed it to me. “Drink this and it will help with the madness and pink face you suffer from so severely.”
I took the bottle from him and thought I would agree with him just to play along in order to buy some time. “Okay thanks captain.”
“I’ll be back in a few hours to see any improvements.”
I looked at his face for answers but could not find any. “Why are you doing this captain? Why didn’t you just shove me off the plank when you had the chance?”
He sighed. “Just do as I say, no questions lass. I’ll send one of the gypsies down with your meal before dusk.”
He closed the door behind him, but I heard no latch or click meaning he did not even lock it.
Out of curiosity I went to the dresser, fishing for items to entertain me and found an old silver mirror. Might as well see what my hair looks like.
Upon glancing at myself I nearly dropped the mirror on the floor. My face was turning pink, as in bubblegum colored, Princess sleeping beauty’s dress, or a flamingo! And my hair started to grow in colors as if someone dyed it in an Easter egg kit.n
I guess that poison ivy is real down here after all… But why was he so afraid of my transition??